. . .sucks!! i am sorry for the coarse language, but i felt it was necessary in order to elicit the emotion that i am feeling. and honestly, i am not sure that it is the being an adult part, so much as how adults act, or how they are supposed to act. i personally do not mind being an adult. i have fun being an adult, but have trouble communicating with other adults. why i do not know. i just wonder sometimes if we really have progressed past our junior high tendencies? you know what i am talking about: the fear and insecurities! when in our lives will we be able to truly be ourselves. everyday it is a new battle for me to be comfortable with me. not only physically, but emotionally as well. lean in closer, i am going to tell you a little secret - i am not normal. shhh!! don't repeat that to anyone. yes, this is my problem. as my husband would so kindly say to me, "what can i do about it?" truthfully he can do nothing. it is me and my insecurities, but where did i get all of these, and why as a successful 26 year old professional, do i still have them? is it because i was chubby in jr. high, had to wear braces for 5 years (along with every attachment, from a bumper to the odious headgear!), or the fact that no one asked me out until i was a junior in high school? should all of these things still matter and haunt me through my adult life. i think not. i am not the same person i was then, but that person is still here. will she ever go away?
those few of you that are out there, i need your input. what do you think? i will continue to post on this later, but i have brought up some questions that i did not know were there until they flowed from my fingers onto the screen. i just might have to have a talk with that girl of years gone by and see what she has to say. so tune in next time for a conversation with myself at 15!
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4 comments:
Heather
My son used to have a badge that said, "Why be normal?"
Why?
My mother says that 40 is great! She says this is when she stopped feeling so insecure. I am waiting. Every year I feel a few insecurities drop away; unfortunately, some of them are being replaced by new ones--like I get really anxious driving a car. I have decided/learned a few things, though (Most of these I learned from Brad). Usually people love you no matter what; and the ones who don't, well, I don't think I have the time or the energy for them. My new year's resolution (besides losing weight, exercising more, and eating better--the holy triumvriate (sp)) is to make people more important than my job. I am going to be a better friend this year, and somehow I think that is going to make me more secure--maybe? I will tell you how it works out. Oh, and I am also being less critical.
hello there ,
I believe you should consult maggie larkin on the source of your insecurities. are you allergic to shrimp? I can see you have some devastating phsyochological issue probably from your parents. I also think you may have passed this insecurity (fear of driving...or maybe just you driving) to kyle nichols.
As a Jr.High student myself I would like to say: Yes Jr.High is a horrendous place, Im glad to have adults like you to make it somewhat better...even if that just means letting me take a nap in your room.oh and those years of braces were worth it, your teeth are b-e-a-utiful.
-from your favorate student ever
p.s. If any particular english teacher happens to be reading this and is appalled by the grammar and or spelling, please forgive me, I am under time conrtraints
I feel your pain with the braces. I had them for what, four years. Which then felt like forever. But my teeth did look horrible! But now that they're off, my teeth are B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!!!(I hope i spelled that right) Oh and about begin an adult I couldn't feel your pain because I'm in the Jr. High. But you have to admit that being an adult is fun! You have a car and most of all can watch R-rated movies!!! And I'm not allowed to.(it's so not fair). Well, anyways good luck and as my 5th grade teacher always said, "May the force be with you."
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