1993 . . .

welcome back to conversations with myself! (applause, please) well, it has been a while, but we are so glad that you could make it back. we have a special guest for you today . . . drum roll please! it is the heather of 1993!! yes sir, ladies and gentlemen, she is here today in our studios ready to talk about . . . well herself. so let's not prolong this any further let's get right to the questions.

heather - wow! it has been a while since i have seen you. over ten years. how have you been?

heather '93 - well, like, i have been fine, but what has happened to you. did you gain weight?

heather - uh . . . uh . . . oh, you were always a joker weren't you. she's funny isn't she, audience?

heather '93 - i am not trying to be funny, i was just, like, asking a question. because if you think i am going to let myself look like that in ten years, well, like, whatever.

heather - a lot can happen in ten years, and i think i look pretty stinkin good. now, do you have anything positive to say?

heather '93 - what are you, like, my mother?

heather - (silence)

heather '93 - alright, alright, that is pretty cool hair! mom would never let me do that right now. you still have pretty good fashion sense, too. how was that?

heather - and . . .

heather '93 - alright, you are not really fat. sheesh, like, i was just making a joke. whatever, talk to the hand if you are going to be that sensitive about things.

heather - i am glad you said that. that is exactly what i brought you here to talk about.

heather '93 - what? fat? because, i totally was just kidding. you are not fat.

heather - no, not the fat. about being sensitive to things. you know, like, how people feel about you and what they think. (did i just say, like! this could be a disaster for me as an english teacher.) you know, insecurities!

heather '93 - dude, i totally know about insecurities. i got, like, a ton of them.

heather - why? what are they? where did they come from? do you like my shoes?

heather '93 - i don't know. am i pretty enough? will boys like me? what will i look like in ten years? guess you answered that one for me. what is important and what is not? i don't know. and, yeah, i guess they're ok. i don't know that i would have picked them out, but they match the outfit.

heather - really, you wouldn't have picked them out. oh, well, tastes change over time, because i wouldn't be caught dead wearing those huge jeans anymore. they do nothing for your figure.

heather '93 - hey, you know what? i am, like, totally in style. so . . . shut up!

heather - i'm sorry, i'm sorry, that is not what we are here to talk about. really? you don't know why you are full of insecuritites?

heather '93 - well, it might be because every time we move, and you know how much we move, i have to start all over again. new house, new school, new kids to try to impress so that they will like me. that could have something to do with it.

heather - but, didn't you enjoy moving around? i thought i did.

heather '93 - i really did, but, like, it was just hard at first. there were, like, a lot of firsts. don't you remember? having to stand, totally emberassed in front of the class and say your name and where you're from. having on the totally wrong clothes, because, like,they dress differently there, and let's not forget eating lunch alone for the first week. it was really, really hard sometimes.

heather - now that you mention it, it was hard at first. but why did the insecurities stay? didn't it get easier?

heather '93 - like,yeah, it totally got easier, but you just always wondered who your real friends were, and yes, i admit it, sometimes you want to ditch those that will be your friends for the cool kids you wish were your friends. you're, like, so totally torn sometimes. ya know?

heather - yeah, i know. remembering back, probably the most comfortable i was with myself was college. it was as if all the world was right. i liked myself, my friends, the freedom. remember this when things are bad. it will get better.

heather '93 - yeah, but then it sounds like it gets worse! yuck!, what is it like know. what is so difficult. your're married. right? can i see a picture of him, you know just so . . . anyway, you have have a job, and a house. like, what's the matter with you?

heather - ok, when you put it that way, yeah, things sound great. but it's a lot of pressure there. money becomes a huge issue. also, living with a boy can be such a pain sometimes. they really are so gross! the responsibilites of life are sometimes just overwhelming! and don't get me started on working.

heather '93 - why? what do we do?

heather - we teach. and we love it, but it is stressful at times and very time consuming. it's a balancing act now, trying fit in everything that i want to do along with the things i have to do.

heather '93 - ok, ok, ok, enough of the negative, you gotta, like totally, give me something posotive to end on. i can't go back thinking my life is one big blah!! gross. and please tell me that we get cute. no more braces and stringy hair!!

heather - ok, really and truly, i love my life, my husband, my job, my friends, my family. so saying that, life is pretty good, and i really don't have anything to be insecure about. i am, like, totally cute, with an adorable husband. i march to beat of my own drum in many ways: the way i dress, teach, act. here is my advice to you. don't be normal! it is not who we are. we are a drama queen, with ecclectic but fabulous fashion sense. thank you for talking to me, it has really helped me get some perspective. to see my life then and know is interesting. how do you feel?

heather '93 - slightly confused honestly! this future is not what i expected. where are the flying cars and cool metallic clothing? this is the 21st century, right? where's buck rogers? it's kind of lame if you ask me, and further more . . .

heather - well, that's all we have time for today folks. hope you enjoyed the show. see or write to you next time. and remember: "there's no where you've been that you can't go back in time" (whatever that means)