drama queen

the end of another play season . . .

2007-03-25T18:42:00.000-05:00

good morning, miss dove went off without too many hitches. there was only the one actor that fainted and only a few cuts and bruises, so all in all, a success!!!

in all honesty, it was a really great weekend. the kids did such a wonderful job during their performances. they remembered their lines, hit their cues, and changed the scenes. even though they are jr. high students i expect very professional performances and behavior. the performances i get, the behavior, well, they are jr. high students. you can't expect too much from hormones in tennis shoes! they do their best.

as tiring of an experience as it is, it is wonderful to watch them on the stage, speaking loudly, enunciating, and oozing character. i can't help but feel extremely proud of them. i will hopefully be uploading and attaching some pictures at a later date, but i just had to reflect on part of the experience while it was still fresh in mind.

more on the play to come!

early!!

2007-03-01T09:24:00.000-05:00

take that procrastination!! you didn't get the better of me this time. i got my grad school project done two days early. now i get to rest for the weekend.

i had to create a meaningful video using photos, videos, music, and transitions.

what meaning do you get from this video?

http://ispace.ci.fsu.edu/~hlb06d/creativity.wmv

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 License.

getting the hang of things

2007-02-26T20:40:00.000-05:00

grad school is nothing like my old college days. it is harder to go to school when you have a full time job, a husband, a house to keep, and pets to feed. there are no more all-nighters, at least not fun ones. you know, the ones where you and your friends would make a food run at midnight to whatever greasy gross restaurant was open, watch a few movies, pull few pranks in the halls of the dorm, and then eventually do a little work before you either sleep for 30 minutes or go to class only to return to your dorm room to sleep for the remainder of the day. no, those days are long gone. now it is squeezing in class work between grading painful 6th grade essays, washing dishes, and only getting sleep every now and then. i am not as young as i used to be.

but i must also tell you that i believe that i am finally getting the hang of it. although i have probably just jinxed myself by saying that. (for those of you who don't know, i am currently working on my masters of library science. i am doing it 100% online, which means class in my pajamas, much like my undergraduate days! this makes me happy.) my design and media production class this semester is fun and also HARD!! it involves a lot of reading and a lot of thechnology work with music, pictures, and video. all of which are fun, but also extremely time consuming. i type all of this to let you know that i think i have finally caught up on my reading, blog posting, and video work for the class. all it took was a 4 day weekend with almost non-stop work.

i may be out of practice, but with a little work i am getting back on the bike and will ride like i used to. except if my memory serves, i was never a great bike rider. i did hit that parked car once. well, anyway, i will make it through whether on the bike or not. i am a good walker as well.

now that am i caught up, i hope that i can stay that way and keep frustration away!!

frustration . . .

2007-02-13T13:55:00.000-05:00

thy name is GRAD SCHOOL!!! i am so overwhelmed at the moment, i may cry. will i ever catch up? will i ever get ahead? i don't know. stay tuned to find out!!!

share the love!

2007-02-05T13:47:00.000-05:00

a fellow teacher friend at school shared this with me, and it is too funny not to pass on. i am not sure who in my marriage needs more training, matt or myself, but i know we could both use some. i believe you can teach a young, middle aged, or old dog new tricks, you just have to have the right treats!

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5087&amp;amp;amp;en=e434837ef9e0950f&ex=1184130000&excamp=mkt_at1

how dare they!

2007-02-03T22:31:00.000-05:00

they have ruined one of my favorite books of all time, and in the name of what? cgi! bridge to terabithia is one of my favorite books, and disney has taken it upon itself to ruin it. where did the giants and creatures and fighting come in? i don't remember it. i will now have to re-read the book just to make sure, but i am fairly sure at no point in time is there a giant or the need for the boy to have an armor arm to fight. they have missed the point of the book and have replaced its meaning with meaningless creatures and fighting.

it is a story of friendship and relationships, boys and girls being friends, different families and different backgrounds. terabithia is a magical land created by a boy and girl who are so different that it is those differences that help them create a new world. it is a book about differences making something together that alone would not exist.

i am incensed by the look of the new movie coming out. the whole world cgi'd to life. there does not seem to be one piece of the book in the movie except for the fact that it is a boy and girl and they imagine a world called terabithia. that is where it seems, to me anyway, the similarities end. what has happened to our imaginations? have we so lost them that hollywood has spell everything out for us, or has hollywood been spelling it out to us for so long now that we have lost our ability to use it.

terabithia showed me how to imagine and create, and that my vision wasn't the only one worth looking at. it showed me that others could contribute to make my worlds better and more alive. it spoke to me of friendships between boys and girls and how families are different but love is the same.

i probably will not see the movie, but for other reasons than i am appalled with the look of it. i also am not happy with movie prices. when it comes out on dvd, who knows? i just do not like when they take wonderful books and make not so great movies out of them. there is a reason people love the books and i see no reason for movies to change them.

one whole year

2007-01-31T21:33:00.000-05:00

where does the time go. away, especially if sleep a lot. which i do. but it is a new year, and time to either start new things or pick old things that you really did enjoy.

this past weekend matt and i were in palm beach florida for the "palm beach poetry festival". it was wonderful. matt got to workshop and play tennis with his poetry idol, stephen dunn. i got to hang out at the beach, rest, and go to some wonderul poetry readings. (the picture is matt and stephen)

matt seems rejuvinated from the workshop and more excited about poetry, and i got to experience and discover new poets. not that they were new to poetry, just new to me. i also got a glimpse into matt's poetry world. very interesting place. i thought it would be snooty people looking down their noses at each other, but no, they were talking and sharing and helping each other.

the two poets i liked the best, other than stephen which is a given, were david kirby and alan shapiro. david writes these witty and funny narrative poems that just draw you in and make you feel a part of them. alan shapiro mixes it up a bit with some humor and some serious. he really makes you think and feel what he has written. he had a poem that nearly made me cry. check them out if you get a chance. great stuff.

well, i hope it will not be another year before i post again, but you never know in this world. it was fun tonight though and good to talk to you.

3 months . . .

2005-09-12T12:23:00.000-05:00

and what i have learned. not a whole lot, except that i am not good at keeping things up. truly this is a hard and interesting lesson to learn. it makes you face a lot things about yourself; things you may not like when you dig deep. this is my confession time. here are some things that i have learned about myself or at least started to acknowledge in the past three months.

cconfession #1: i really don't like talking on the phone! - this one may seem fairly innocent, but truly it was bothering me. sometimes, i purposefully don't answer my cell phone should it ring, and will check to see who is calling when my home phone rings. i know, most people already do this, but most will pick up and talk to their family and friends, but not me! no, i will listen to it ring, and listen to the message, and then if i really feel that i have to, i will pick up and call back. i am actually relieved at times to get voicemail, because then i don't have to speak directly to anyone. i don't trust phone conversations. i can't see what people are doing and they can't see me. what if they are making fun of me? am i making fun of them? honestly, i am sometimes. i get this from my father, a notoriously horrible phone conversationalist. here is an example of a call to my dad:

dad - "this is bill. can i help you?"

heather - "hi, dad it's me."

dad - "hey, heather. how are you?"

heather - "good, and you?"

dad - "works sucks as usual, but other than that everything is fine."

heather - "sorry to hear that. i was just calling to check in."

dad - "that's great."

silence

silence

heather - "well that's really all i was calling for. have a great day!"

dad - "you too. talk to you again soon."

click

so, i have decided to be ok with myself about this weird hang-up. (pun intended) i am trying to find a balance between not answering and answering the phone, but more often than not, i am not going to answer. this does not mean that you are not important to me. i don't even answer for my husband many times, and he is really important to me. this simply means that my mind cannot handle any more information or dialogue. it seems that i have conversations going on in there constantly, with myself, and sometimes that is all i can handle.

confession #2: i have people who come in and clean my house once a month and we have people who come and do our yard twice a month. guilt is a big issue for me, and it takes shape in many ways. one of those ways was how my house and yard looked. if you know me, then you know that i am not a neat freak. now, sometimes, i will try to fool a few of you, but it has never worked successfully. i just don't have the knack for cleaning and straightening that my mother was blessed with. and yes, it is a blessing even though i used to think it was a curse. to be able to organize magazines, kitchen cupboards, refigerators, and storage space takes true genius. i sadly do not posses this genius, and showed my jealousy by rebelling against it in one form or fashion. my freshmen year at college, i did not vacuum my carpet or change my sheets for a whole semester. yes, ewww, groossss, i was worse than a boy. i have decided that, really, i have just been angry my whole life at not having this gift. my husband however, realized this in me, as he reads me better than i read myself, and one day bestowed upon me the greatest gift - a house cleaning service.

i truly thank God for them every time they come, and tell Him to bless them amazingly for the gifts that they have. they come in and turn my messy and disorganized home into a neat and clean-smelling bastion of organization. well they put things in neater and easier to find piles. we have also hired people to mow, edge, weed-eat, and trim our yard and everything in it. it, too, now looks cared for and neat. i have learned that it is ok to not be blessed with the gift of organization and neatness, as others in the world have, and they should be able to help me with it if they so wish. i have many other gifts that i use in my life that the Lord has given me.

i know there are many more topics that i could get into right now, but it is hard to share such personal information all at once. don't worry, i will return, and hopefully three months will not have gone by, but take this thought with you - nobody's perfect! it gets me through the day.

2005-06-20T09:46:00.000-05:00

this is the "charles bridge" in prague. no one i know is in this picture.
heatherbyars

2005-06-20T09:45:00.000-05:00

this is mom in the "volksgarden" or people's garden in vienna.
heatherbyars

2005-06-20T09:44:00.000-05:00

this is me at the "fisherman's bastion" in budapest.
heatherbyars

lists, lists, and more lists . . .

2005-06-19T12:47:00.000-05:00

hello my dear friends and welcome back to "adventures with heather in europe!" (pause for clapping...)

well, my mother and i have just returned from a phenomenal ride. we have been to budapest, vienna and prague, in that order. we have been on planes, trains, and automobiles. we have eaten, shopped, walked, and from all of this, ladies and gentlemen, this is what i want to impart to you -

the following are top 3 lists, and some of them are just what they are:

top shopping (in this category we are looking for interesting, affordable, and fun) -

3. in third is vienna - they think very highly of themselves, and therefore their clothes were expensive. they were also a little snooty. i mean, just because mozart played there doesn't mean you can charge an arm and a leg for a t-shirt!
2. second place goes to prague - it was almost too overwhelming the amount of shops and such here. from jewelry to china, you could find anything.
1. budapest wins this one - it was affordable, and easy to locate. the salespeople were nice, and plus we just had more time there to shop which made it more enjoyable.

best hotels (the judging is based on looks, access to city center, and size) -

3. prague, though the most beautiful city, had by far the worst hotel accommodations - we stayed at an ibis, which, by america's standards, was a motel 6. now, i am not knocking the motel 6. they have cheap, neat rooms, but for our trip, we had booked 1st class rooms, and i am sorry to say, motel 6 is not 1st class. small bathroom, small room, small everything.
2. next up is vienna, a best western! - the cutest outside of the hotel, but inside was hot!! no air conditioners, and it was a wee bit smaller than we would have liked.
1. the hotel in budapest wins this one - it was called a tulip, which may not be the best, but is was the roomiest, with a/c, dark drapes, and a nice-sized bathroom (very important to us women).

now for the best food category - (this is based on . . . well . . . whether or not i liked it!) this was a hard one, as the food everywhere was yummy; however i must make some decisions. (i had to sacrifice and gain a few pounds for this area.)

3. prague is once again third. the food was very good, but from what i had everywhere it was not the best. i had carp and potato soup, but they lose points because the carp still had every single bone in it, and they took a while to get out. the carp was still delicious, but who wants to work that hard for their food!
2. budapest is in second, with wonderful goulash(sp?) soup. spicy and warm, it hit the spot. their dumplings were also pretty darn good.
1. in first, though, was the best schnitzel i have ever had, and that was in vienna! it was soft and tasty, and the salad and potatoes with it were a perfect complement. it didn't hurt that it was followed by a scrumdiliumpcious apple strudle.

arts and culture is next on our list - (this is based on famous people being from- and/or playing there, music, and the history of arts and culture)

3. budapest is coming in third here - while i am sure they have a wonderful history, it did not stand out to me that it was exceptional, at least when compared to the other places we visited.
2. prague takes second - gorgeous national theater with a good repertoir, and many famous names mentioned on the tours. also the architecture alone screams "talent".
1. did you even have to guess - vienna for arts and culture, where else are you going to find more famous composers that were born or played there, as well as famous psychiatrists with mother issues, singers and just about anything else you can think of.

and finally scenery - (was it pretty, and was it prettier than the others?) they were all beautiful as you can see from the pictures above, but again, decisions must be made.

3. budapest - don't get me wrong. budapest was absolutely gorgeous, but it just so happened that everything else was, too. so don't change your plans if you are going to budapest. go, it is fabulous and beautiful, with parks and architecture, and great shopping.
2. vienna - it was beautiful. there is the ring strasse (a street that has all the buildings on it), the museums, the raathouse (the govt. buildings - pronounced "rat - house"), the opera house(WOW), and much much more. they have a ferris wheel that is 100 years old and will take you up to see a beautiful panoramic view of the city. excellent.
1. but prague takes the cake - the sheer amount of beauty is hard to describe. pictures do not do this or any other city justice. when you walk out onto the charles bridge and see the landscape, it takes your breath away. the streets are straight out of a fairy tale, with their cobblestones and old buildings that look like disney had them built. it was just fun to walk around and see everything. gorgeous!!

overall, all these cities were fabulous. it was one of the best trips i have ever been on, and the fact that my mom and i got to do it together was wonderful. it was our first mother daughter trip, and hopefully will not be our last. while i love my husband, getting to spend this time with my mother was priceless.

enough with the shmultzy stuff. here is one more list - read at your own risk. this list is just a compilation of excursions, tours, adventures, and mishaps that occurred along the way. enjoy and tune in next time for more "adventures with heather in europe!"

in no particular order:

the market place in budapest - phenomenal. the smells, the size, it was like walking into another world. they had every food you could think of and the whole top floor was souvenirs and clothes. amazing.

smelly europeans - i am sorry if any of you are reading this, but please work on the deodorant thing. i love you and have come to know some of you very well, but man, sometimes the smell is just too much.

the rose garden in vienna - this was an accidental find by my mother and myself, but the smell and look of it were perfect. it was called the people's garden. it had a mini parthenon inside, and a fountain of zeus with topless women (hey, he was god, all the chicks dug him), and a beautiful view of the museums from the park!

did you know that there is an elegant way to try to see if there is a draft? well, there is and my mother showed it me. it is similar to a ballerina moving from 1st position to 2nd position. if you are ever in need of a draft, i highly reccommend this movement, it is elegant and proper, and will never let you down. (editor's note: i didn't get it either. i later found out it was an inside joke.)

nearly dying on an escalator! the escalators in budapest were so fast, we were terrified to even try to get on and you had better pay attention when getting off, as i am sure the speed of the escalator could have sucked right down with it. it was more like a sport and less like a mode of transportation.

dog poopy everywhere. i love dogs, and so do the europeans, as they take their dogs everywhere; the grocery store, the tram, restaraunts, and even shopping. except that they don't seem to feel the need to clean it up from off the streets when they do what dogs do. ewww! gross!

1st class train rides are wonderful, and i highly recommend them. more privacy and the seats lay down for better resting. although there are some downsides. you never know who will be in the compartment with you. we were lucky and not so lucky. we had one very nice american couple, and one nice but loud family.

hotels not so first class. see the lists above to find out why.

mommy getting sick was not fun. it wasn't throw-up sick, it was just overall don't feel good sick. i felt really bad for her, but, on the upside, we got to see a lot of european football, and learn a lot about the eu on bbc world television.

good food.

better food.

the good, the bad, and the gabby. this how we would describe our death-defying rides in taxi cabs. it was better and worse than a rollercoaster.

the vienna opera house - mozart played there you know. it was magnificent.

the streets in prague - like a fairy-tale world. magical and beautiful.

hoping a pigeon doesn't poop on my head! they were everywhere and some of them were so fat that they literally couldn't fly. every time i saw one, i just knew it was looking for a head to poop on, and i prayed it would not be mine. luckily, i learned to speak 'pigeon', and was able to convince them to poop on others.

the fisherman's bastion - sounds like a smelly seaport thing with dead fish and weird sea things, right! wrong; this was the most beautiful thing in budapest. it was a memorial commemorating fisherman and the market they used to work at. it was like a mini-castle. it had a wonderful view of the city, and it just looked idyllic.

the tour guides we had were probably some of the funniest people. we had a crazy woman named tatiana, whose bra showed the entire tour, and who we couldn't understand, but she just moved fast and kept talking and we loved her. our tour guide in vienna was so funny, but mom and i were the only ones who thought so. we laughed so hard we made him laugh and it took a while for all of us to recover.

the ferrris wheel in vienna was a highlight. it was old train cars put on a ferris wheel, and moved slowly so you could get a good view of the city. we went right at dusk, and it was amazing!

the astronomical clock in prague was absolutely beautiful. it went off every hour and was just amazing.

in vienna, we went to a night of singing, dancing, and schnitzel. they sang old viennese songs and did old viennese dances, and it was so much fun.

and finally the charles bridge in praha(prague). it is the most-photographed bridge in the world, and i now know why. it is simply beautiful.

okay, a little more schmultz. this traveling really did reveal what an awesome God we serve. the beauty of his creations and the talent he has given some to create the things they create is really just astounding.

that's all folks. for now...

2005-06-06T03:44:00.000-05:00

"wagamama" eating with chopsticks!!
heatherbyars

awake in europe . . .

2005-06-06T03:20:00.000-05:00

well it is 12:57 here in antwerp, belgium, and i cannot sleep a wink, so i just thought i would take the time to catch you up on my summer vacation so far.

it has been excellent. i am in europe, just in case the title didn't give it away. i am having fun. there you go! my summer vacation so far. hope you enjoyed it! i will share more later.

just kidding, here are some details. read on if you are interested.

so far i have shopped, as any woman in her right mind would do. i have tasted the culinary delights that are available, and let me tell you, there are many. i have never had a bad meal in europe. as my father would point out, "everything is fresh! there are no preservatives!". i have been to the movies, and i have thrown up because of a horrible, awful fair ride! let me break it down for you.

shopping - amazing!!! the shoes here are phenomenal. there is brand call "campers", that i first believed to be from the britain, but just found out they are really from spain. any way, they are the cutest and most original shoes i have ever seen. i own a pair, and for those of you that have seen them, they are the ones that look like someone drew them on with a sharpie. i love them. the shopping over here is just great. there are stores that mirror those in the US. C&A here is like a T.J. Max or Marshals in the states. Inno here is like a Dillards or Rich's in the states. They even have a Payless-type place called "Shoe in a Box". how cute is that? cute clothes, fun styles, very original. overall, i give shopping here a "9 1/2".

food - incredible! i have had kip(chicken) that is out of this world. by the way, they love curry here, and i am starting to love it as well. their italian is out of the world. everything is made from scratch, and there isn't the rush here to eat and run. a meal will take close to 2 hours. it is very relaxing. my new favorite however, is an asian noodle place called "wagamama". fun name huh?! i am proud to say my father and I ate the entire meal with our chopsticks! we were very proud indeed. (that is the picture you see with this post) overall, i give the food here a "10"!

throwing up - i wouldn't recommend this to anyone. they have a carnival in town right now. (yes, everyone get it out of your systems. i know you want to say the austin powers line - "carnies. small hands, smell like cabbage.") well a whole group of us from mom and dad's church went to this carnival together. it started out fine. we rode the lamest haunted house roller coaster you could imagine, the way they scared people was by having a man with a mask walk around to the cars and touch the people in them, which, i will not lie to you, was very scary at the time. i then went with the smaller children and one old child, the preacher, into a fun house, which was extremely fun! the floors spun and rolled, and you had to go down a gigantic slide to get out. much fun was had by all.

but then, my father, who shall remain nameless (bill bundy), decided we should ride this seemingly harmless ride. it looked like you spun around and went up and down. (i can handle this.) what i thought it did, and what it actually did are two totally different things. instead of just spinning and going up and down it went side to side and in every direction possible. well, if it had stopped when it was supposed to, i would have been fine. but no!! the ride master asked if they wanted to go again, which i couldn't understand anyway, because it was in nederlands(dutch)! everyone shouted, "yes! yes! yes!". i thought, one more time, i can do that. this happened no lie, 3 times. by the third time i was crying and wanting to die, but not wanting to puke on all the other riders. and i didn't, but as soon as the bar holding me in was released, i rushed to the side and emptied my stomach of everything i had eaten for the past week over the side of the ride. suffice it to say, i was ready to head back to mom and dad's apartment, which i did, only to discover that i had not truly emptied my stomach, and did in fact need to finish what i had started. overall, i give throwing up in europe a "3", as i have never purged my stomach in another country, and it was somewhat interesting to do.

that is my update so far. i will keep you posted. i hope you are having a wonderful summer, as i truly am.

the angel choir has been warming up . . .

2005-05-25T08:37:00.000-05:00

and they are ready to sing!! haleluah!! the school year, is almost officially over. by the time you read this it will probably actually be over. i am so ready for summer vacation. can i get an "amen"!

i am reminded of a wise old saying - "no more teachers, no more books, no more teachers dirty looks" (i believe this is how it goes) however, i feel the need to change it slightly, seeing that i am a teacher, and am beautiful and do not have any dirty looks. here is my rendention - " no more students, no more grading homework, no more whiny, complaining, smelly, loud, obnoxious, yet still sometime sweet an endearing students!" well, it was worth a shot anyway. i am just glad it is over.

drama . . .

2005-05-16T20:42:00.000-05:00

life is full of it. some good; some bad, but into every life a little rain must fall. my rain, right now, is losing my 8th graders! i have had them since my first year teaching at GACS, and tonight we had a banquet to close out our time.

i call them my drama babies, but they are not so babyish anymore. where does the time go? one minute they are tiny; then they aren't. i don't know how parents do it.

i love my drama babies, and i always will. i will love others, but these will hold a special place in my heart. in a sense, i have grown up with them, as they have grown up with me. i was a young teacher, frightened to death, and they made it a little less scary. now, i am still young, but more experienced and confident, and i think that they are too. and some of that is me in them. we are a part of eachother and that will always be. man, sometimes, i love being a teacher. well, i won't keep you, just wanted to share some thoughts.

shakespeare - all the world is a stage, and the men and women merely players.

we are all players on the stage, and the play is a drama, comedy, or tragedy, but we play our parts the best we can. i want my drama babies to play their parts to the fullest and to shine.

if you missed me and you know it . . .

2005-04-28T19:08:00.000-05:00

clap your hands! (long silence) i think i heard a few.

clap if you believe in my blog! i drank what was supposed to be your medicine, but was really poison, and only your claps and belief in me can keep me alive.

oh, whatever, i'll keep blogging. even if no one reads it, i will continue. why you ask. well, it is simple you see. i have nothing else to do.

here is a thought i want to leave you with today: when life gives me lemons . . . i just want to throw them really hard at something!

ttfn - ta ta for now.

live from europe!!

2005-04-03T02:12:00.000-05:00

hello and welcome to europe with heather! today i am going to share with you, not a whole lot. i am in antwerp, belgium in the residence of my parents. they live right across from the chathedral in downtown antwerp. it is gorgeous!! let's talk to my parent shall we?

heather: dee dee, how do you like it here?

dee dee: we like it. i think it is interesting.

heather: bill, what is your life like over here?

bill: what is the first of a trilogy? (he is doing a crossword puzzle, this could be a bit.) ok, do what?

dee dee: very hectic.

heather: dad - no answer.

dee dee: BILL!

bill: let's see?

dee dee: drinking wine and beer with his meals. that will go over well on your blog!

bill: i would say . . . just seeing old things.

heather: that's deep dad.

bill: just the historical . . . (he is a little slow) stuff!! (and deeper still)

well there you have it folks - deep thoughts with bill and dee dee bundy.

bill: i like watching the fights at the bar below from our apartment!

heather: thanks dad. that is a great way to close out the interview.

have a great day folks. stay tuned for more discussion and deep thoughts with my parents in europe!!

my answers . . .

2005-03-23T00:21:00.000-05:00

if anyone should care.

1. fake cheese is way better than real cheese. i loved fake cheese when i didn't like real cheese at all. my favorite is the fake nacho cheese stuff at the movies. and i also love the little snack packs of breadsticks and cheese. yum!!

2. i see more sunrises than i see sunsets. mostly because i am driving to work during the sunrises and am usually so tired that i am passed out by sunset. i do love the song from "fiddler on the roof". funny anecdote, well not really funny, but i will never forget it. i really hurt my mom's feelings when she had rented movies for me and my girlfriends to watch for a sleepover, and "fiddler" was one of them. well, i told her that it wasn't a cool movie, and could we get another one. i was such a little loser. mom, it is an awesome movie, and if i could go back we would not get a different movie.

3. COFFEE! i hope that the use of caps in this instance will make an impression on you as to how important coffee is to me and also to the students i teach. they know when i have, and have not had my coffee. it is my life support in the morning. tea is for pansies, except for my husband, who could never be considered a pansy.

4. and finally the hardest question of them all the beatles or elvis? really, who can decide? i don't know if i can, but since i have to . . . led zeplin! well i would pick them over "the who". and a kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you! yohoo, is gross! that, i do know. maybe we should just go see a show. i don't know.

let's just leave it at this - thppppttttt!!!

nerds!

2005-03-18T13:30:00.000-05:00

i write this post dressed in what my husband says is really more of a dork outfit than a nerd outfit. it is nerd day in the jr. high, and i am reminded of a scene from "american splendor". if you have not seen this movie, see it! it is a great movie. in this movie, is a character, who is a real person, that is a nerd and somewhat mentally handicapped. anyway, he goes to see "revenge of the nerds" and is discussing the philisophical aspects as well as the fact that the movie now gives him self-confidence in the fact the he is a nerd. he is proud to be a nerd!

looking around at all of these children dressed up as nerds, or what they consider to be nerd wear, i am struck by a thought. we are all really nerds. deep down in the darkest parts of ourselves we are nerds. we love nerd clothing. it frees us from the constraints of rules and matching and cute. we get to "hang loose" as the hawaiin's would say. we walk funny, talk funny, and feel funny, and that makes us feel free. free to be ourselves, and to not have to be what the world expects us to be.

so my question is: shouldn't every day be nerd day?

don't freak out . . . speak out!

2005-03-09T19:06:00.000-05:00

i have some questions for you. yes, you, reading my posts but not saying anything. it is short. so, don't freak out, speak out, let your voice be heard!!

1. true or false - cheese wiz (or any fake cheese) is better than real cheese.

2. sunrise or sunset? (can you hear "fiddler" in the background? my parents had the song in their wedding. collective aww! 1 2 3 . . .)

3. coffee or tea?

4. true or false - the beatles are better than elvis

that's it. now are those so hard. i expect your answers by monday the 15 of march, 2005. (that is the teacher in me coming out.)

nothing . . .

2005-03-06T21:52:00.000-05:00

although there has been a lot going on in my life right now, i cannot think of a thing to blog about. my husband will be amazed, this is akin to being speechless, which is not me at all. matthew, by the way, is on his spring break in manchester, england with a friend of his. while i have been slaving away this weekend, putting together probably, the best junior high play production in the history of the world! i am not kidding nor am i exaggerating. it was unparalleled in the universe for a play by junior high students. okay, maybe i am exaggerating a bit, but it was really really, really, really good!

my mind is drawing a complete blank. it seems ironic to me that at a time when i should have something to talk about and reflect on, i don't. my mind is blank, and i am having trouble putting together thoughts. thinking now though, that is not really ironic. irony is . . . nothing, there is nothing in my mind. i want so badly right now to have deep philosophical moment with you, my readers, about how important and emotional and inspirational this weekend was for me, but i have zip, zilch, nada! all i have is this overwhelming blackness in mind. so, i guess this was just me talking about how i have nothing to talk about. i guess, i feel that blogging is something one must do even when not feeling like it, so that that same someone can have a feeling of accomplishing something. but what i have really accomplished? i know you are amazed right now at my ability to continue to ramble about nothing. i am slightly amazed at myself.

i shall close this out with a few quotes on "nothing":

"[n]othing is beneath you, if it is in the direction of your life; nothing is great or desirable if it is off from that. (ralph waldo emerson)

"[n]othing puzzles me more than time and space; and yet nothing troubles me less, as I never think about them. (charles lamb)

air. sick.

2005-02-24T00:45:00.000-05:00

these two little words say so much. what do they say, you ask? well, to me it sums up three days of my life. now, three days may not seem like a lot, but in the grand scheme, they aren't and they are. three days, 72 hours . . .

air - it took me 11 hours to get home on sunday. i was supposed to leave lubbock, tx. at 1:30 pm. i didn't leave until almost 3. had it been a straight shot home it wouldn't have been so bad, but missing one plane then set off a horrible chain reaction that included missing other planes, having to get my bags and re-check in, and in general spend more time than i would like with other smelly, tired travellers.

in the beginning my thoughts were, "no big deal, there's no need to get anxious; what would that help anyway." that was the zoloft talking! but, upon arrival in houston, zoloft ideals flew out the window. the air conditioner had to have been broken, because it was at least 80 degrees in the airport, and there was construction everywhere. i haven't told what i was traveling in, because it did not become an issue until this point in time. i was wearing, and it was fabulous, this gorgeous dress my mom had sent me from europe. it was flowy and colorful and it clung to me like saran wrap! (that was not a good thing) i was wearing my tall brown high-heel boots, no pantyhose, and a poncho. well, in the heat, i started to get what, in my family, we call the "vacation walk". this walk occurs when your thighs rub together too much and chafe. it is not pleasant, and there was no way to get air to the region to be able stop it from happening. so there i am, in the houston airport sweating and trying to walk in a way that my thighs won't rub together (real women's thighs touch. i am sure of this).

i had to walk to the ticket counter and stand for what seemed like an hour but was really only 55 minutes, to have the ticket agent, aka satan, tell me that i had to walk to gate 45 in terminal "c". i happened to be in terminal "a" at the time. oh yes, and i only had 15 minutes to get there to get on the flight. so, now i am running in my dress, boots, rubbing thighs, and carry-ons desperately hoping not to miss the flight. and what should happen when i get there? yup, you guessed it, the flight was delayed 45 minutes!!!!! however, once on the plane with all of the air pointed at me, i was able to rest, relax, and reflect on the more important things in life: the skymall magazine. i made my connection in dallas, which was a God-send (it was only one gate down), and was able to get home, get my bag, and get to my house at 12:15 am.

sick- this is the part that comes after spending 11 hours trying to make it home, and having to get up at 5:45 the same morning to go to work. i have to tell you, my readers, that i very rarely get sick. and when i do get sick, it is awful. it doesn't help that i am a huge baby when i am sick either. i felt bad even before my alarm went off. do any of you have that disease? you know, the one where you wake up two or three minutes before your alarm goes off! i hate it! so, at 5:43 i open one eye and see the time, and all i want is to die. but, i am a trooper. i got up, showered, and got ready and headed off for school. i walked in the doors and wanted to vomit. (no, i am not pregnant!) i go to our wonderful sub mistress and ask her if there is any way that she can get me a substitute for the day because i didn't feel that i would be able to last all day. being the wonderful woman that she is, she scrounged and searched and came up with a wonderful sub. ahh, i got to go home. that was when the real trouble began.

my illness is hard to explain. it was not the flu, because i was not running a fever. i wasn't coughing, nor did i have a runny nose. my problem was, i thought that my back was being broken in two. it didn't matter how i laid or sat or stood up, my back was in constant pain. i have been to the doctor for this before. they have never been able to tell me definitively what it is. they basically just say, "sucks to be you; you just have to suffer." advil and tylenol pm are my comfort during this hour of need. that and crying to my husband about how i want my mommy. my emotional barrier is thin to begin with, but you get me sick, and there is no barrier. the flood gates open and don't close until they are dry and exhausted. this is a compliment to my husband, that he doesn't smother me with a pillow during these times. he figures that it doesn't happen very often, or he would be tempted.

by tuesday, i was able to rest some and start to feel better. i took the day off for good measure. i don't want to risk a relapse! wednesday dawned and i was back at school. piles of papers on my desk and feelings that i was a year behind where i should be. luckily for me there was only one more day of school that week. i know, my life can be very difficult.

looking back at those days, i think, "man! i am a big baby!" i have never been a big one on pain, and try to avoid it all costs. so any pain felt is bad and sends me back to kindergarten wanting my mommy. as for the airports and flying. as my husband will attest, i have horrible luck when traveling alone. so, yes, precious moments of my life were lost, never to be returned. what would i have done with those hours you ask? watched tv, eaten cookies, or slept. so, were they really wasted? i read a good book, reflected on my life, learned to try to have patience, and was able to emotionally empty and then refill myself. all in all, not a total waste.

do lazy aerobics count?

2005-02-08T19:15:00.000-05:00

i try to work out at least three times a week. i do this great video called "yoga power fusion". i really love it. you do some yoga, tai chi, pilates, and chi gong (i have no clue what that is). well, i try to do these aerobics at 5 am, as that is the only time i feel i can do them. i teach from 8-3 and then have play practice until 5 or 6. by the time i get home, all i want to do is eat and go to sleep. so anyway, back to the 5 am workout. i have been doing really well with it since december. i thought i would get a jump on new years since if it was a new years resolution, i would feel like i would just break it. this way i have fooled my mind into thinking that this is what i am supposed to do. well, monday morning i get up at 5 and head out to start my aerobics. well, i am just so tired, that it is hard to do them. at times i would simply stop and flop on the floor. eventually, i would get up and continue wherever they where in the video. i even fast forwarded some parts, because i knew i did not have the energy to do them. all in all i probable only worked out for 20-25 of the 45 minutes. so, i ask you. is it worth it? is it enough to make the effort and try but not fully complete the workout? yes, it is best to work hard and finish and not give up, but i ask you, is it still beneficial to do a lazy workout?

1993 . . .

2005-02-04T11:45:00.000-05:00

welcome back to conversations with myself! (applause, please) well, it has been a while, but we are so glad that you could make it back. we have a special guest for you today . . . drum roll please! it is the heather of 1993!! yes sir, ladies and gentlemen, she is here today in our studios ready to talk about . . . well herself. so let's not prolong this any further let's get right to the questions.

heather - wow! it has been a while since i have seen you. over ten years. how have you been?

heather '93 - well, like, i have been fine, but what has happened to you. did you gain weight?

heather - uh . . . uh . . . oh, you were always a joker weren't you. she's funny isn't she, audience?

heather '93 - i am not trying to be funny, i was just, like, asking a question. because if you think i am going to let myself look like that in ten years, well, like, whatever.

heather - a lot can happen in ten years, and i think i look pretty stinkin good. now, do you have anything positive to say?

heather '93 - what are you, like, my mother?

heather - (silence)

heather '93 - alright, alright, that is pretty cool hair! mom would never let me do that right now. you still have pretty good fashion sense, too. how was that?

heather - and . . .

heather '93 - alright, you are not really fat. sheesh, like, i was just making a joke. whatever, talk to the hand if you are going to be that sensitive about things.

heather - i am glad you said that. that is exactly what i brought you here to talk about.

heather '93 - what? fat? because, i totally was just kidding. you are not fat.

heather - no, not the fat. about being sensitive to things. you know, like, how people feel about you and what they think. (did i just say, like! this could be a disaster for me as an english teacher.) you know, insecurities!

heather '93 - dude, i totally know about insecurities. i got, like, a ton of them.

heather - why? what are they? where did they come from? do you like my shoes?

heather '93 - i don't know. am i pretty enough? will boys like me? what will i look like in ten years? guess you answered that one for me. what is important and what is not? i don't know. and, yeah, i guess they're ok. i don't know that i would have picked them out, but they match the outfit.

heather - really, you wouldn't have picked them out. oh, well, tastes change over time, because i wouldn't be caught dead wearing those huge jeans anymore. they do nothing for your figure.

heather '93 - hey, you know what? i am, like, totally in style. so . . . shut up!

heather - i'm sorry, i'm sorry, that is not what we are here to talk about. really? you don't know why you are full of insecuritites?

heather '93 - well, it might be because every time we move, and you know how much we move, i have to start all over again. new house, new school, new kids to try to impress so that they will like me. that could have something to do with it.

heather - but, didn't you enjoy moving around? i thought i did.

heather '93 - i really did, but, like, it was just hard at first. there were, like, a lot of firsts. don't you remember? having to stand, totally emberassed in front of the class and say your name and where you're from. having on the totally wrong clothes, because, like,they dress differently there, and let's not forget eating lunch alone for the first week. it was really, really hard sometimes.

heather - now that you mention it, it was hard at first. but why did the insecurities stay? didn't it get easier?

heather '93 - like,yeah, it totally got easier, but you just always wondered who your real friends were, and yes, i admit it, sometimes you want to ditch those that will be your friends for the cool kids you wish were your friends. you're, like, so totally torn sometimes. ya know?

heather - yeah, i know. remembering back, probably the most comfortable i was with myself was college. it was as if all the world was right. i liked myself, my friends, the freedom. remember this when things are bad. it will get better.

heather '93 - yeah, but then it sounds like it gets worse! yuck!, what is it like know. what is so difficult. your're married. right? can i see a picture of him, you know just so . . . anyway, you have have a job, and a house. like, what's the matter with you?

heather - ok, when you put it that way, yeah, things sound great. but it's a lot of pressure there. money becomes a huge issue. also, living with a boy can be such a pain sometimes. they really are so gross! the responsibilites of life are sometimes just overwhelming! and don't get me started on working.

heather '93 - why? what do we do?

heather - we teach. and we love it, but it is stressful at times and very time consuming. it's a balancing act now, trying fit in everything that i want to do along with the things i have to do.

heather '93 - ok, ok, ok, enough of the negative, you gotta, like totally, give me something posotive to end on. i can't go back thinking my life is one big blah!! gross. and please tell me that we get cute. no more braces and stringy hair!!

heather - ok, really and truly, i love my life, my husband, my job, my friends, my family. so saying that, life is pretty good, and i really don't have anything to be insecure about. i am, like, totally cute, with an adorable husband. i march to beat of my own drum in many ways: the way i dress, teach, act. here is my advice to you. don't be normal! it is not who we are. we are a drama queen, with ecclectic but fabulous fashion sense. thank you for talking to me, it has really helped me get some perspective. to see my life then and know is interesting. how do you feel?

heather '93 - slightly confused honestly! this future is not what i expected. where are the flying cars and cool metallic clothing? this is the 21st century, right? where's buck rogers? it's kind of lame if you ask me, and further more . . .

heather - well, that's all we have time for today folks. hope you enjoyed the show. see or write to you next time. and remember: "there's no where you've been that you can't go back in time" (whatever that means)

being an adult . . .

2005-01-29T10:32:00.000-05:00

. . .sucks!! i am sorry for the coarse language, but i felt it was necessary in order to elicit the emotion that i am feeling. and honestly, i am not sure that it is the being an adult part, so much as how adults act, or how they are supposed to act. i personally do not mind being an adult. i have fun being an adult, but have trouble communicating with other adults. why i do not know. i just wonder sometimes if we really have progressed past our junior high tendencies? you know what i am talking about: the fear and insecurities! when in our lives will we be able to truly be ourselves. everyday it is a new battle for me to be comfortable with me. not only physically, but emotionally as well. lean in closer, i am going to tell you a little secret - i am not normal. shhh!! don't repeat that to anyone. yes, this is my problem. as my husband would so kindly say to me, "what can i do about it?" truthfully he can do nothing. it is me and my insecurities, but where did i get all of these, and why as a successful 26 year old professional, do i still have them? is it because i was chubby in jr. high, had to wear braces for 5 years (along with every attachment, from a bumper to the odious headgear!), or the fact that no one asked me out until i was a junior in high school? should all of these things still matter and haunt me through my adult life. i think not. i am not the same person i was then, but that person is still here. will she ever go away?

those few of you that are out there, i need your input. what do you think? i will continue to post on this later, but i have brought up some questions that i did not know were there until they flowed from my fingers onto the screen. i just might have to have a talk with that girl of years gone by and see what she has to say. so tune in next time for a conversation with myself at 15!

is there anybody out there . . .

2005-01-18T17:50:00.000-05:00

seeing as i feel that no one is out there, i am going to say a few things! i hate spinach. take that. i don't like to . . . get up in the mornings. ha! yeah, do you really want to get me started on this? too late sucker. i'm on a roll. i can't stand the sound of fingers scraping on a chalkboard. (that one got ya didn't it? be honest.) the mere thought of really breaking a nail makes me nauseous. remember that commercial for lotion? anyone . . . anyone? well, there was this horrid slow motion shot of a nail breaking trying to open a soda can, and i seriously could not watch that commercial. it made me want to hurl. i get the chills just thinking about it now. speaking of commercials (my ADD is kicking in so there is no telling where this is going.)

i am the biggest sucker for infomercials!! i love them, and must have everything they are trying to sell me. my brother and i feel that ron popeil is our surrogate father, since we grew up and saw him about as much as our dad, which was a lot. hair in a can, what kind of genius is that, i mean, you spray it and it looks like hair! who does not need that. and the knife sets. i have always wanted to cut through my shoe and then a tomato. and they just seem to be getting better and better. have you seen the one called "the magic bullet"? this new blender thing that blends into the cup, so you don't have that sloppy mess of trying to transfer your drink. you know, pouring. pouring is really difficult. i could never be a waitress. i would constantly spill things on people trying to pour from over their shoulder. the lamest infomercials are the ones that try to disguise themselves as regular commercials. you know they just don't have the money to buy the full time slot. you get a short view of the product and then phone numbers and "CALL NOW!" flashing on the screen. there is no communication, no audience to "ooh" and "ahh" at the product.

i have to feel for my product and the 30 seconds to two minute spot is just not giving me enough time. i have got to have a host who cannot go two sentences without saying "that's incredible" or "can you believe it". the ones with accents are the best. i know this makes me sound a bit insane, but so what if i am. obviously there are others out there with my same need for the infomercial. otherwise they wouldn't be on the air. really, my dream is to be in the audience and to get to try the product. i have wonderful facial expressions. watch . . . that was happy . . . that was amazed, and here comes the best one of all . . . shocked and amazed!

saying goodbye to friends . . .

2005-01-12T19:46:00.000-05:00

is a hard thing to do. i hate to admit but i recently became friends with four wonderful women: carrie, miranda, charlotte, and samantha. why am i sorry you ask? because these women are not real. they are from a tv show, they are from "sex and the city". i know, i know, the show and they are amoral and trashy. i really do know this, but i can't help myself. i love them. through six seasons i have laughed, gufawed, and been shocked by what they did, but i loved it. why did i love it? i loved it because they seemed to be real. their problems, their struggles, their friendship. the money they had and their lifestyle was totally hollywood, but who cares . . . they looked fabulous! i also loved this show because there was something in each woman that i could identify with. with carrie, i always loved her clothes. they were wild and crazy. i also loved her attitude. she had spunk and class. miranda was hilariously sarcastic. she told it like it was, but underneath was vulnerability and hope. when is comes to style and class though, charlotte out does them all. she was beautiful, but not perfect. and samantha . . . her passion in the bedroom and out of it was amazing. she was a go getter and didn't let anything get in her way. and now my friends are gone, only to be seen on dvd's (which are extremely expensive). i know i sound silly, but i don't care. this is my send off to my four friends. you were wonderful, witty, and honest. when the last episode played, i hadn't realized how attached to this show and these women i was. the flood gates opened and there was no holding back the tears that were there. so, see ya around ladies. and to quote an old irish saying that everyone has heard - "may the road rise to meet you". (i am not really sure what that means, but it sounds really good.)

the secret war . . .

2004-12-29T19:08:00.000-05:00

the secret war has been fought and won by . . . ME!!! the secret war was a hard fought and dirty war. it was . . . putting a new garbage bag in the trash can in the bathroom. it sat there empty for days, both my husband and myself aware of it. the q-tips, cotton balls, and you name it piled higher and higher each day, the casualties of the war. who would be grossed out first? who would give in, admit defeat and put in a new bag?! i looked at it everyday, wondering if i should be the one to put an end to our suffering, as the q-tips were mightely gross. however, i was resolved to not be the weaker of us to not be the one who would give in. if i gave in now, i would have to give in forever and that would not be the case. hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into . . . well is wasen't really that long of a war. and then, one day, the unthinkable happened, there was a garbage bag in the trash can! victory was mine. now the fact that my husband new nothing of the war does not diminish my victory. i still won, my willpower was greater than his. he fell beneath my resolve. but, i will not be a boastful winner. i will, not rub his face in the fact that i am stronger in will than he is. i will not do this, because it is enough to know in my heart that i am stronger. so, instead, i shall thank him for his hard work and praise him for his good deeds. because, the surest way to make sure that i don't have to do it, is to make him think he is wonderful for doing it.

questions and answers . . .

2004-12-14T16:00:00.000-05:00

now it's time for that wacky game show - questions and answers with myself!!

heather: how are you doing today, heather?

heather: not too bad thank you for asking. how about yourself?

heather: a little tired, but otherwise fine. let me ask you a few questions.

heather: shoot. my life is an open blog.

heather: you are so funny.

heather: i know, i know. ahhh! now, let's get to the questions.

heather: well, heather, what are your thoughts about the state of the world.

heather: do you mean politically, mentally, physically . . . what?

heather: uhh . . . uhh . . . you pick.

heather: ok, well politically - i don't care. i know that i should, but i just get so drained by it all. and anyway, my husband is political enough for the both of us. mentally - this one is a doozy! mentally we are both in decline and in growth. how can this be you say?

heather: yes, how can this be!

heather: well, while we know more in the world today than we ever have before, have we actually found a use for most of the information. do we show students how to use the information that we shove in front of them? do people really know how to think? i don't think so. i think we try to teach too much too fast and in the end we are short changing the next generation. but, i guess, i cannot really speak for the world, just the good old USof A. if we raise a generation to be overstimulated with too much information and not enough ways to use them, then we are raising an ADD generation. what i mean by that is that, we are raising a generation that will not have the ability to concentrate, complete a job, or in general function. i am speaking in general terms of course and not about everyone. there are exceptions to every rule, but as a whole is there such a thing as too much information?

heather: i see what you are saying and yes, i believe there could be such a thing as too much information. what do you suggest?

heather: heather, i am so glad that you asked. i feel we need to do a few things and do them well, not inundate our selves with too much so that we do several things and simply do them ok. i do not have a plan to fix this at this time, but get back to me in a few years, and i am sure i will have solved this problem.

heather: what would we do without you? i cannot imagine a heatherless world.

heather: i hear you. me neither. i am pretty amazing. whew!! that exhausted me. i am going to have to take a break. but have no fear. i shall return.

well . . .

2004-12-06T13:49:00.000-05:00

me.

i feel that here is a good place to put one of my favorite poems by one of my favorite poets - emily dickenson

I ’M nobody! Who are you?

Are you nobody, too?

Then there ’s a pair of us—don’t tell!

They ’d banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!

How public, like a frog

To tell your name the livelong day

To an admiring bog!

however with my love of lower case you might have expected e.e. cummings. well, i love him too, so here is something for you e.e. cummings fans -

l(a

le
af

fa
ll
s)

one
l
iness

simplicity. that to me is the key to all things. simplify your life. emily and e.e. they kept it simple and sweet and said so much. don't you think?

my very first blog!?

2004-12-03T14:00:00.000-05:00

i know that this will drive many people crazy, but i hate to use capital letters. they just take too much time. and the crazier thing is that i am an english teacher!! i really shouldn't say that because now you are going to be checking my grammar, and to be honest, i am better at the literary end of things.

i really don't understand this whole blog thing, and i really am not a big fan of the word "blog". it sounds fat, and as a woman, anything that sounds fat is not appealing. i work very hard to keep fat off.

so now what to say? well, since i can think of nothing else at the moment, we will have to wait until next time folks.

until then - keep smiling and remember: "everybody loves somebody sometimes"